Whether you’re planning or attending a Jewish wedding ceremony, you’re in the right place to learn about Jewish wedding traditions There’s a lot of meaning packed into a Jewish marriage ceremony!
What Makes a Jewish Wedding Different?
A traditional Jewish wedding is built around two ancient concepts that happen to fit together perfectly: erusin (eh-roo-SEEN), or betrothal, and nissuin (nih-soo-EEN), the marriage itself. Together, they form the structure of the Jewish marriage ceremony.
A rabbi or other officiant leads the ceremony, and Jewish law shapes the key ritual moments. Most Jewish couples have a lot of flexibility in how they make the ceremony their own.
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Before the Ceremony: Pre-Wedding Rituals
The rituals start before the ceremony officially begins.
The bedeken (beh-DEK-en) is a veiling ritual where the groom sees the bride’s face and then covers it with her veil.
The ketubah (keh-TOO-bah) is the Jewish marriage contract which outlines the couple’s commitments to each other. It’s signed before the ceremony and often displayed as art in the couple’s home afterward. Some couples write their own; others use a traditional text.
Traditions vary by background. Ashkenazi Jews (with roots in Eastern Europe) and Sephardic and Mizrahi Jews (with roots in the Middle East and Spain) have different customs around these moments. Sephardic and Mizrahi families, for example, sometimes hold a henna ceremony in the days before the wedding.
The Chuppah: More Than Just a Canopy
The chuppah (HOO-pah) is the canopy under which the couple stands during the ceremony. The chuppah represents their new home together, open on all sides to welcome family and community. Some couples use a tallit (TAH-leet), a Jewish prayer shawl, as the chuppah covering, often one that belonged to a grandparent or other family member.
The Ceremony: What’s Actually Happening
Here’s an overview of the big moments:
The ceremony opens with betrothal blessings recited over the first cup of wine, which the couple drinks together. This is the erusin portion, formalizing the betrothal.
Next comes the giving of the wedding band. In a traditional Jewish ceremony, the ring is placed on the index finger of the bride’s right hand (yes, the index finger — on purpose). The groom recites a phrase in Hebrew, declaring that the bride is consecrated to him. Many modern couples exchange rings and vows in both directions.
The ketubah is then read aloud, often in both its original Aramaic and in English.
The bride circling ritual comes next in many ceremonies. Traditionally, the bride circles the groom seven times. Some couples adapt this ritual so they circle each other, and some skip it entirely.
The sheva brachot (SHEH-vah brah-KHOTE), or seven blessings, are then chanted or recited in Hebrew. These ancient blessings celebrate the married couple, invoke joy and love, and reference Jerusalem. This is the nissuin portion of the ceremony. A second cup of wine is shared after the blessings.
The sheva brachot are traditionally recited again at the wedding feast, extending the celebration. Some observant couples continue celebrating by reciting sheva brachot for seven nights after the wedding.
Breaking of the Glass
This is the moment everyone’s waiting for. At the end of the ceremony, the groom (or both partners) stomps on a glass wrapped in cloth. The sound of it shattering is your cue and everyone shouts “Mazel Tov!” (MAH-zel tov), which means “congratulations” or literally “good luck.”
The breaking of the glass is a reminder, even in a moment of pure joy, of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. It’s a way of saying that even in our happiest moments, we carry the weight of Jewish history with us.
Yichud: A Private Moment
Right after the ceremony, the newlyweds disappear. Yichud (YEE-khud) means “seclusion,” and it’s a few minutes for the married couple to be alone for the first time as husband and wife. Guests hang out, cocktail hour begins, and the couple gets a breath.
The Celebration: Food, Dancing, and the Hora
Jewish weddings are known for their receptions, and for good reason. The wedding feast is where Jewish life really comes alive. Expect toasts, great food, and lots of family members with opinions about both.
The hora is the circle dance where guests grab hands and spin in concentric circles while the couple gets hoisted into the air on chairs. If you’ve never done it, just grab someone’s hand and jump in.
Jewish couples observing Shabbat wait to start the wedding until after the sun sets.
Make It Your Own
Ashkenazi, Sephardic, and Mizrahi traditions differ. Observance levels vary. Interfaith couples bring their own beautiful mix. Some couples follow every tradition in Jewish law to the letter; others pick what feels meaningful and leave the rest. That’s not breaking the rules. That’s Judaism being flexible AF.
The Torah and centuries of Jewish tradition give Jewish weddings their shape, and there’s a mitzvah (a commandment, but also just a good deed) in celebrating a couple’s joy!
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a ketubah? A ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract, a written document that formalizes the couple’s commitments to each other. It’s signed before the ceremony and often beautifully illustrated. Many couples frame it and display it in their home.
What are the seven blessings? The sheva brachot are seven blessings recited in Hebrew during the ceremony and again at the wedding feast. They celebrate the joy of the married couple, reference creation and community, and invoke the rebuilding of Jerusalem. They’re chanted or recited by the rabbi or by honored guests.
What does “Mazel Tov” mean? Literally, it means “good fortune” or “good luck” in Hebrew. In practice, it’s used the way English speakers use “congratulations.” Shout it when the glass breaks. You’ll fit right in.
Do I need to do anything as a guest during the ceremony? Nope. You can just sit back and take it all in. If you’re handed a kippah (a small head covering) at the door, you’re welcome to wear it. No one will JewBarrass you either way.
What should I bring as a gift? A gift from the registry is always a safe bet, but cash or a check is also very traditional at Jewish weddings, often in multiples of 18, because 18 symbolizes “chai,” or life.
Why do some couples fast on their wedding day? Some Jewish couples fast on their wedding day, treating it like a personal Yom Kippur, a day of reflection and atonement, before beginning their new life together. It’s not universal, but it’s a meaningful tradition for those who observe it.
Do Jewish weddings have to happen on a specific day? Jewish law restricts weddings on Shabbat and certain holidays but Jewish couples have a lot of flexibility. Many couples choose Sunday weddings to avoid Shabbat.
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