This is a song that uhh
There’s a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh
Not too many Hanukkah songs
I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don’t get to hear any Hanukkah songs
Here we go!
Put on your yarmulke
Here comes Hanukkah
So much funukkah
To celebrate Hanukkah
The Festival of Lights
Instead of one day of presents
We have eight crazy nights!
When you feel like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree
Here’s a list of people who are Jewish
Just like you and me
David Lee Roth lights the Menorah
So does James Caan, Kirk Douglas and the late Dina Shore-ah
Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli?
Bowzer from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli
Paul Newman’s half Jewish, Goldie Hawn’s half too
Put them together, what a fine looking Jew!
You don’t need “Deck the Halls” or “Jingle Bell Rock”
Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock (both Jewish!)
Put on your yarmulke
Its time for Hanukkah
The owner of the Seattle Supersonic-ahs
O.J. Simpson: not a Jew
But guess who is?: Hall-of-famer Rod Carew (he converted)
We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby
Harrison Ford’s a quarter Jewish – not too shabby!
Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
Well he’s not, but guess who is?: All three Stooges!
So many Jews are in showbiz
Tom Cruise isn’t, but I heard his agent is
Tell your friend Veronica
Its time you celebrate Hanukkah
I hope I get a harmonica
On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah
So drink your gin and tonic-ah
And smoke your marijuani-kkah
If you really, really wanna-kkha
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah
Why make an account and save your favorite JewBelong stuff? Because someday Jack is going to get off his ass and pop the question and you’re going to get to plan that wedding you've been thinking about since third grade.
Because why use any of your precious brain cells to remember where you kept those great readings that you’ll use someday at Jeffrey’s B Mitzvah? Make an account, keep the readings there. Easy peasy. The only thing you’ll need to remember is your password, and from personal experience that’s hard enough.
Hey, can you watch the phones on Friday? We have a thing.