Two menorahs are sitting in the window.
The ﬁrst one says, “Wow, it’s getting hot with all these candles.”
The second one says, “Woah, a talking menorah!”
Q: What’s the best Hanukkah gift for someone who has everything?
A: A burglar alarm.
It was just before Hanukkah and Miriam, a grandmother, was giving directions to her grown up grandson who was coming to visit with his wife for the ﬁrst time since Miriam had moved to her new apartment.
“You come to the front door of the condominium complex. I am in apartment 3A.” Miriam told her grandson.
‘There’s a big panel at the door. Use your elbow to push button 3A and I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on your right. Get in the elevator and use your elbow to press the 3 button. When you get out, my apartment is on the left. Use your elbow to ring my doorbell and I’ll open the door for you.”
“Grandma, that sounds easy,” her grandson replied, “But why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow.”
Miriam answered, “You’re coming to visit empty handed?”
Why make an account and save your favorite JewBelong stuff? Because someday Jack is going to get off his ass and pop the question and you’re going to get to plan that wedding you've been thinking about since third grade.
Because why use any of your precious brain cells to remember where you kept those great readings that you’ll use someday at Jeffrey’s B Mitzvah? Make an account, keep the readings there. Easy peasy. The only thing you’ll need to remember is your password, and from personal experience that’s hard enough.
Hey, can you watch the phones on Friday? We have a thing.