NARRATOR (2 Lines)
GOD (23 Lines)
TIME TRAVELER 1 (TT1) (8 Lines)
TIME TRAVELER 2 (TT2) (8 Lines)
TIME TRAVELER 3 (TT3) (11 Lines)
TIME TRAVELER 4 (TT4) (9 Lines)
EVERYONE (4 Lines)
NARRATOR: Welcome to Time Travel Shabbat! It’s Friday night and we’re on top of a mountain. Hold tight, because we are going to travel way, way, waaaay back. For the next few minutes, suspend your beliefs and disbeliefs… because we’re going back to the ﬁrst Shabbat ever!
TT1: Hey, who are you?
GOD: Hmm. No one’s ever asked me that before. Come to think of it, no one’s ever asked me anything before. You can call me “God.”
TT2: Well… okay, but why “God?”
GOD: “God” has a nice ring to it, don’tcha think? Kind of like Cher, Madonna, Prince…
TT3 (IN A FRANTIC VOICE): Sure, whatever, we’ll call you God, but that doesn’t seem to be the most important detail at this very moment, because… WHERE ARE WE, AND WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?
GOD: You’re asking me? I was just enjoying a little rest, and poof, here you are!
TT2: He’s right, ya’ know. We are the ones who decided to time travel.
TT3: Yeah, but I thought we’d travel to, like, George Washington cutting down the cherry tree or Woodstock– you know, something safer? But here we are standing on THE TOP OF SOME FREEZING COLD MOUNTAIN WAY THE HECK ABOVE THE CLOUDS!
GOD: Oh, do you like them?
TT3 (SOUNDING STRESSED): Do I like what?
GOD: These mountains. They started off as molehills… I just made ‘em this week. At least I think it’s a week? It’s hard to keep track when you’re inﬁnite and the watch hasn’t been invented yet. Anyway, everything is new.
TT4: What are you talking about?
GOD: I guess I should back up. I need a drink. Is there wine yet? I mean, I have done some SERIOUS renovations on this place. You should have seen it before I created the Heavens and the Earth.
TT1: So, what did you do?
GOD: Oy, where to start? Well, ﬁrst there was Creation. I made everything come into being… the Heavens… the Earth… the oceans… the mountains…
TT3: Like the one we could fall from at any second? In case you guys haven’t ﬁgured it out I’m terrified of heights….
TT4: Oh my goodness. Chill! We are not going to fall. You were saying…
GOD: Oh, yeah. So, the Heavens and the Earth part, that was Creation – before Day One.
TT1: That was before Day One?
GOD: Yup, but the thing is, I couldn’t see anything. It was all darkness, and, well, this is a little embarrassing, but I’m scared of the dark. So I said, “Let there be light!” And there was light!
TT3: Great story. Now can we please get off this mountain?
TT1: Are you kidding? I want to hear more. What about Day Two?
GOD: Well, on Day Two, I made the sky.
TT2: Wait – I thought you had already made Heaven?
GOD: Yeah, but that’s different from the sky. To make the sky, I had to create a barrier between the water on the ground and the moisture in the air.
TT4: This is crazy! All of it! I don’t even believe in God.
GOD: I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. LIKE I ALWAYS DO. But keep listening… you may enjoy my story.
TT4: Okay, ﬁne keep going.
GOD: So, on Day Three I had to put everything into some kind of shape because it was a big mess. A lot like what’s going on in Washington right now.
TT1: Speaking of which, how did you let that happen?
GOD: Hey, I give you the ingredients. It’s up to you to cook dinner. So anyway, I got the water all together to form oceans and lakes— and then I made the water stop at the land to form continents. Oh, I almost forgot, on the Third Day I also made plants, trees and ﬂowers. I gave every plant seeds so they could reproduce without me having to micromanage everything. This was well planned. Bumblebees pollinating peach trees doesn’t just happen you know.
TT3: You’re, like, smart.
TT4: Uh, ya think? He’s God.
TT1: You did such a great job and then we made a huge mess. A lot of the plants and animals have become extinct.
GOD: So I’ve heard … Anyway, Day Four I made the sun, the moon and the stars.
TT2: Wait – the sun? I thought you already made light on the ﬁrst day.
TT4: Stop bothering God with details.
GOD: No, it’s OK. I get that question a lot. Let’s just say, the whole light versus sun thing… it’s beyond human understanding. Anyway, as I was saying. I made the sun. But I didn’t want it to shine constantly. So that’s why I made the moon.
TT1: Whoa. and then you had the earth rotate so we’d see one and then the other… that’s how we get day and night, which leads us to months, years and seasons.
TT4: Show off! So.. were there other creation days?
GOD: Were there other days? You’re here, right? Did you ever have a tuna melt?
TT2: Of course!
GOD: Day Five! That’s when I made the ﬁsh, water creatures and birds. I would have kept going, but the sun went down, so I went to sleep and the next day…
TT2: Wait, I know… us! I remember this from religious school. On Day Six you made all the animals. Then US! You gave humans the power to think, to reason, to speak and to run things.
TT3: The jury is still out on whether that was such a good idea.
TT1: I’ll say! Do you know what’s going on these days?
TT3: Shhh! God will be so disappointed!
TT4: I’m sure God knows.
GOD: Yes, I know. And yes, I am disappointed. But I gave you all the power to think for a reason.
TT4: So we could invent Flaming Hot Cheetos and YouTube?
TT3: Ugh, this is all too much for me. I’m exhausted.
GOD: Thanks for reminding me! That’s the most important part!
EVERYONE: What do you mean?
GOD: After all that creation, I was EXHAUSTED! I really needed to rest. Hello, Canyon Ranch? But I was also happy, so I said “This is good,” and I stopped working! Done! Finished! Not forever though. I called my rest, “Shabbat,” which essentially means “to rest” in Hebrew.
TT3: Oh, I know about this. Resting restores us to get ready for the week ahead.
GOD: If I had family and friends, I’d hang out with them on Shabbat.
TT2: We’ll be your friends. Some of us even call you “Father!”
GOD: Aww, that’s nice. Thank you! Mother is ﬁne too. I’m a feminist. Actually, I answer to anything. Except dude—
TT3: Yup, when I get off this mountain, which can’t come soon enough, I will remember that Shabbat is important… and to take the time to rest and take a break from my busy life!
TT2: Absolutely. We all will. But now, we need to get back to dinner. See ya, God!
NARRATOR: And so, the Time Travelers left the mountain and headed back to enjoy their dinner, which delighted Time Traveler No. 3, to say the least.
EVERYONE: Shabbat Shalom!
Why make an account and save your favorite JewBelong stuff? Because someday Jack is going to get off his ass and pop the question and you’re going to get to plan that wedding you've been thinking about since third grade.
Because why use any of your precious brain cells to remember where you kept those great readings that you’ll use someday at Jeffrey’s B Mitzvah? Make an account, keep the readings there. Easy peasy. The only thing you’ll need to remember is your password, and from personal experience that’s hard enough.
Hey, can you watch the phones on Friday? We have a thing.